February 15, 2012

Thank you, God, for my daily bread

This was just too big for me to write in my private journal – meant to share I think.

This morning was wide open – nothing to accomplish until later in the day.  So I decided to take advantage of the morning with a long devo/hypno/meditational time.  I used all forms of media – from Children’s books to daily devotional book to self help books and journaling to audio and finally to quiet – yes I said quiet! – meditation.  Here is what I got today from God, The Holy Trinity – Father, Son, Holy Spirit – Mind, body spirit – physical, mental, emotional – Universal Mind – DIVINE – whatever you or I choose to refer to the one, true GOD!

The time and energy I have spent in trying to please those around me is really just a form of idol worship.  I don’t worship idols – do I?  I am unable to release and let go fully – to breathe out – because I am unable to be open and willing for healing and peace – to breathe in the breath of God.  In my time of quiet – when I asked God to open me up to His message – which is a message that I already knew, but shut down – this is what He told me.  His message is that I should work towards pleasing HIM – not anyone else.  Although, of course, I do want the people who are around me and helping me on my journey to be happy for me and pleased for me and I am glad if I can make a difference to them by the path I am taking.  My heart muscle, my abdominal muscles, my brain tissue – all let go!  I sat in learning, meditation and quiet for quite some time – longer then I could have ever thought before – just minimal squirming and in the last phases – no squirming!  Thanks be to God.  And I found that for today – God is well pleased with me!  Today he knows I GOT IT!  He also told me that it will take time and practice for this lesson to fully sink in – I have spent so long in my other pleasing mode that I will naturally default to that often – but for today – I GOT IT!  And will always have this day to reference.

SO – I finished my meditation time with a GOOD breakfast – fuel for the body – and then a decision to take a jog!  By myself!  And those of you who know me know that this is risky for me.  And I did jog UP HILLS as well as down and on the straight path.  I was thanking God all along the way with a light heart (although it was beating quite fast) and with rapid breathing (!) when ALL OF A SUDDEN A PIECE OF BREAD DROPPED OUT OF THE SKY RIGHT BESIDE ME!  I looked up and there was not a bird or a plane or a garbage man in sight – just a BIG Baguette that dropped from nowhere!  Manna from Heaven?  Yes, Manna from Heaven!  I just started laughing out loud!  Crying and thanking God for this affirmation – that I am on the right path and today – GOD is WELL pleased with HIS DAUGHTER!

Thank you God for my daily bread!